Funny answers from CXC/GCSE examinations

The following questions were set in last year's CXC/GCSE examinations
> These are genuine responses from 16 year olds..........
>
> Geography
> Q: Name the four seasons.
> A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
>
> Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
> drink.
> A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>
> Q: How is dew formed?
> A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
>
> Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
> to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
> nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
>
> Sociology
> Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
>
> Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
>
> Q: What are steroids?
> A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>
> Biology
> Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
>
> Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
>
> Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
> A: Premature death.
>
> Q: What is artificial insemination?
> A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
>
> Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
> A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
>
> Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen)
> A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax, the
> abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
> the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,
> A, E, O,U, and I.
>
> Q: What is the Fibula?
> A: A small lie.
>
> Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
> A: Nearby.
>
> Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
> A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
>
> Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean Section.'
> A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome .
>
> Q: What is a seizure?
> A: A Roman emperor.
>
> Q: What is a terminal illness?
> A: When you are sick at the airport
>
> Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> umbrellas.
>
> English
> Q: Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its
> meaning
> A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
>
> Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?
> A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
>
> Technology
> Q: What is a turbine?
> A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head